Worzel's World - Showing appreciation

 

It was way back on the old days, 1984 if my memory serves me well. Me and a mate made Metro magazine’s top ten best graffiti of the year. With the help of some friends and leftover paint we depicted, on the back doors of our work van, a pink whale with a flower in its mouth along with the caption ‘Land rights for gay whales’. It was our attempt to cover all the current social issues of the day. We were sixth on the list and the only ones of the ten to have graffitied their own property. 

We’ve been saving the whales for a while now. Most of my lifetime in fact. And ya know, after all this time I’m not sure haw many we might have saved. I also get the distinct impression that the whales don’t necessarily appreciate it. The numbers of whales that throw themselves onto the beach to die and rot are almost as many as the number of people committing suicide these days. 

Why do we want to save whales? Is it because they’re so big? I saw one once. Not your regulation porpoise or orca that you get to see fairly often. And not your pilot whales either that seem to have the depression and suicide problems. No, it was a proper whale. A humpback I think. One among a group of six or eight. It sure was big. But then things in the sea are generally bigger than other things. Your average ocean liner, cargo or cruise ship is generally much bigger than your biggest airplane and much, much bigger than any bus or truck. The whale was much bigger than an elephant. Dirty smelly thing it was. Covered in barnacles. It showed no signs at all of any appreciation for being saved. Maybe whales aren’t that great after all? 

People, on the other hand, may not be as great as whales. I think we may feel this way because people are not so very big and we see them a lot more often. 

I had a friend. She became inconveniently pregnant. But as I explained to her it’s a cause and effect sort of thing. If you sleep rough you may catch a cold or you may even catch something else. Back then I was not a real politically correct kind of bloke. This is one of the few things in the world that hasn’t changed much since then. She talked to me about maybe having an abortion. I try not to offer advice in such matters, but usually fail and end up offering advice anyhow. It’s kind of how I am.

t’s because I’d rather save people than whales, or fairy terns for that matter, even though fairy terns are quite small and don’t smell anywhere near as bad as humpback whales and are also much cheaper and easier to raise than humans. 

I don’t remember what I said or if I simply listened, but seven months later a baby girl was born. She was a difficult child and life is never easy for a solo mum. I probably should have helped out a little more. This is perhaps a cause of lingering guilt with me. You see I became the child’s Godfather. I didn‘t make nearly enough offers that couldn‘t be refused. However there never was, nor is, any lingering sense of guilt or regret in her mother. In spite of the many challenges she did a great job of raising a beautiful girl.

I saw her a while back. Actually it might have been the same year as I saw the whale. If my memory serves me well? She didn’t smell bad and there were no barnacles attached. She’s got a couple of kids of her own now. I didn’t say anything about her being saved but then I didn’t mention anything to the whale either. Judging by her smile and general demeanour I reckon she was pretty appreciative. I prefer saving people to saving any number of whales.

At the moment our caring liberal Government, who are taking away guns to save people they say, are intent on further liberalising abortion law. I try not to offer an opinion on such matters. Invariably I failed again. I sent in a submission. What do you reckon?

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I had a friend. She became inconveniently pregnant. She talked to me about maybe having an abortion.