27 June, 2022
It’s interesting how we are conditioned to view animals as ignorant or stupid, while in reality they can teach us a lesson or two about values such as trust and kindness.
Fishy treats
Just last week I moved into a friend’s house to take care of his two elderly cats, a brother and a sister. Before my friend left to enjoy a well-deserved holiday, she warned me that the boy was extremely shy and that I should not try to approach him since it would freak him out. I have owned cats for 20 years, so I knew I had to be patient and give the cat time to get used to me. And yes, he was very anxious, and looked at me from a distance with big round eyes full of fear. So I was careful not to make sudden movements or sounds, talked to him in a quiet voice, and placed fishy treats near his basket. Within hours anxious Mister Cat decided that we were cool and came up to me for a cuddle and a brush. From that moment on he adopted me as his best friend and happily sleeps in my arms.
Bitter
I’m always amazed about the trust most animals have in us people and how even the really hesitant ones have a deeply rooted desire to connect, despite fear and distrust. It made me think about the power of trust and the difference between animals and people, as just the other day I had received an email from someone who anonymously wrote me how stupid and dangerous it was to state (like I write in some of my blog posts) that each and every one of us has qualities and talents and that we all harbour goodness inside of us. ‘No’, this writer claimed bitterly, ‘most people are mean-spirited, and shame on you for misleading your readers with such lies’.
Lazy
With many years of experience helping people integrate the healing mindfulness principles in their everyday lives, I know this ego-driven attitude well. It divides the outside world in a simple black-and-white universe, where nuance is non-existent. It’s the lazy way of looking at life. It’s so easy to believe that people are generally bad and dishonest, and that you should never really put your trust in anyone. However, this attitude comes with a serious downside. As you’ll have to be forever cynical and critical, spotting the bad intentions in just about everyone before they can hurt you, you will not only erode your natural trust but your mental health as well. Adapting the rigid attitude of cynical distrust will not only keep the ‘bad’ people out of your door, but the good ones as well.
Clever
Even though it’s a lot harder and far more work to keep searching for the original goodness in people, especially when they make mistakes and do stupid things, it’s by far
the more clever option. Like my new cat-friend we all need each other for our survival and wellbeing. By keeping an open mind and giving someone new the benefit of the doubt, you will practise both emotional flexibility and compassion. I stick to my belief that each and every one of us was born with a healthy dose of genuine goodness. Your attitude of patience and generosity might rekindle that original flame of trust and kindness, and inspire someone to become your best friend.
n Marisa Garau is a mindfulness expert who has lived in Mangawhai since 2007. Find more practical tips on how to de-stress your life at her website or flick her an email if you’d like to have a personal chat: marisa@growingmindfulness.com
