The Origins of Council

 

The hunt had been long but successful. Down on the plain a woolly mammoth had at last been cornered and killed. There would be food enough for the winter. The hunters butcher the beast while the women relay the fresh game back to the caves. The trek is long with two river crossings, and by the time half the animal has been transported, dried, smoked and stored, much complaining and general nagging has broken out. It is of the ‘It’s all very well you blokes hunting with your mates but we have to do all the gathering, feed the kids and keep the cave tidy’ type of thing.

Once while crossing a river a clans-woman, heavily laden with meat, was washed away to meet a grisly death in the rapids downstream and tragically valuable mammoth steaks were lost.

Even in the Palaeolithic era, when the women folk are unhappy then everyone else ends up miserable too. So by common consent the Kave Dweller Clan decided to bridge nearby rivers.

At this point in human history the fear of injuring a fellow caveman’s self-esteem with an insensitive remark was a concept yet to be realised. It was Blog who first voiced a thought shared by many: ‘Norg useless hunter. He better making bridges.’ 

Norg himself agreed. He preferred building to hunting. 

After surveying the area he consulted the clan elders who had lived long and seen the rivers’ many moods. Around the fire they talked long into the night.

Norg managed his workforce wisely and the hewing and carting of the timber strengthened hunters’ arms for spear and bow. The spring hunt was fruitful. 

When the bridges were completed everybody turned out for the opening. Even Blub Blub the witchdoctor, frail and old, came to chant the incantations necessary to evoke the blessings of forest and water spirits.

The bridges reduced transport times, more mammoth was recovered and processed, and less spoiled. The children were better fed, the women complained less and somehow had fewer headaches. The following spring many were added to the clan. The tribe thrived and Norg received much acclaim. Too busy to enjoy it, he was occupied with a revolutionary idea that could transform cave life forever. If he could divert water to come directly to the caves the women would no longer have to fetch and carry it from the stream. They would enjoy more quality time with family and friends. 

Cave people of course had no such thing as an economy, nor did they conduct business confidence surveys, but with our present existence as proof, they got along okay without them. Had Norg known where it all might lead though, he may have decided against sharing his ideas at the clan council that evening. 

The tribe prospered and in the fullness of time styles change according to fashion. Our caves are now of wood and glass. Norg’s revolutionary idea has grown to become the science of hydraulics and can only be ministered by a new breed of shamans called engineers and consultants who charge mightily to apply their occult knowledge.  Cavewoman descendants now buy washing machines and other labour saving devices so they can watch Oprah on daytime TV. Others with perhaps the smallest drop of Norgs blood flowing through them speak of services, of growth, wealth and a brighter future. 

Councils provide grants and funding for this, pay consultants and lawyers for that, and hire staff and contractors for a bit of the other. Rather than build bridges councils instead hold meetings, write reports, create agencies, and committees. They produce many words and make many plans

that bridge no rivers nor bring water to any cave but which take much time and require the labour of many. As at the fall of Babylon the Great they speak in strange tongues saying things like ‘moving forward’, ‘good governance’, ‘validation bill’, ‘historical issues’, ‘fair, reasonable and inappropriate’. 

The tribe is less prosperous. Despite the plethora of labour saving devices, everyone must labour longer to pay rates and other taxes so that those who contribute little or nothing can be rewarded hugely for it. The hunters’ arms grow weak from disuse for the woolly mammoth is no more. It was too big, too ungainly and ultimately just not smart enough to survive. Beef and lamb is tastier and smaller is often better in both animals and councils. The mammoth has become extinct and we do not miss him much. 

Sadly Councils have not kept pace with nature. Refusing to either evolve or die, many continue to exist beyond their usefulness. And joining them together? What can possibly be achieved by uniting many dysfunctional councils into a single monstrous entity? 

�� prof_worzel@hotmail.com 
 

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